I, like Anne of Green Gables, am so glad “I live in a world where there are Octobers”.
Yet, for a grieving person, as a new season begins, grief can sometimes seem to begin again. This can be overwhelming, frustrating and exhausting especially when you feel like you have hit your stride grieving.
Vivi died at the beginning of fall, my most favorite season. That year, every time my husband and I went to a pumpkin patch or a sunflower festival, every time I reached for my scarves or put on a pair of boots, every time I lit a pumpkin spice or caramel apple candle, the only thing I was thinking about was how much I wanted my baby with me.
I learned through my grief that every change of season my ‘grief scar’ was reopened as I both wanted Vivi to be with us, and again went through the death of the dreams of what my life would be with her.
“Autumn embraces change, even as she is falling to pieces.”
Angie Weiland-Crosby
Have you found yourself in this position?
Here is an idea to embrace this change of seasons and acknowledge your grief.
Memory Pumpkin
Have you ever seen the idea of having a “Gratitude Pumpkin”? One that you don’t carve, but instead, daily write something you are thankful for, with the idea that at the end of the harvest season the pumpkin is full with moments of thanksgiving.
This idea can be modified for your experience of grief–whether you have experienced a physical death, or a death of a dream. Write a memory you have with your person you shared in the fall on the pumpkin. Or, if you are grieving the death of a dream, write down what you feel you are missing.
Examples:
“The fall Vivi died, we took my 88-year-old grandma to the pumpkin patch. I remember crying the whole way there. The sun was bright, and the air brisk. One of the attractions at the farm was a tricycle race course. There were both kid-sized and adult-sized. After watching the kids ride for a while, my grandma said giggling, “that sure looks like fun”. Rod asked her if she wanted to race…so I pushed her in the wheelchair around the track as he pedaled the tricycle.”
I have also found that writing them out on the pumpkin and then reading them out loud feels REALLY good.
Do you have other ways you like to honor your grief as the seasons change?
Interested in more practical ways to support those grieving in your community? Find out about my upcoming workshops here.